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Ever Changing Times

When I was around 9 or 10 I went to a youth camp in Hibberdene. I have always been a huge lover of music, amongst other things; with all the thoughts fighting for attention & debating sides, this song popped into my head, a song I sang at that youth camp. “I see the clock upon the wall, but it don’t bother me at all… watching my life & everything I do, wondering if the dreams that I believed in could still come true” how did we get so caught up in running out of time that we forgot to love where we’re standing now? (also, how did I have such an old soul at such a young age? 🤣 )

I’m so guilty of getting worried that I’m running out of time. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be married or have children & only about 5 years ago the thought of marriage became a reality. My 39th birthday brought with it some uncomfortable truths & old hurts that I admit I wasn’t ready to face; why does it become harder to trust God with His perfect plan for our lives when we get a little older? How do we ever know if the choices we make are the right ones? Well- we don’t. At this uncertain & admittedly rather uncomfortable place in my life, I need to remind myself to just stand still for a bit. Maybe in standing still we can see & appreciate the beautiful hearts of the people around us? Having your heart set on an unknown in the future steals so much joy from today.

There are so many things that can make time stand still, a kiss, a conversation; & when we want time to move faster to help lift our hearts, the clock ticks painfully slower. Is running out of time real or is it just a way to make ourselves unhappy with our lives? We have it all wrong don’t we?

Whenever I’ve gone through a challenging time in my personal life I find comfort in watching Sarah Jessica Parker & her 3 BFFs on Sex & the City, yep, all the way from S1 E1. The past few weeks I gained a different perspective & understood why it gave me such a great sense of comfort; it’s not the promiscuity, or the jokes, or the questionable choices that make it so captivating to watch, it’s the 4 different women with different personalities & different expectations, trying to navigate life & love in their 30s, that show us things don’t always work out the way you thought or planned, but they do work out…

Looking back I don’t regret the end of any relationship because they have all molded & made me into the woman I am, & who I am today is the best version of myself so far; how could I be anything but grateful? I did have an epiphany while watching an episode entitled “Single vs Married” – if you are a single, hopeful, 39 year old woman, the voices speaking into your life will most certainly become a matter of life or death. None of us are meant to be alone, the path there is just a little different for each of us & that’s ok too 🥰

Yesterday my main lady in my life reminded me of a love that can’t be accurately put into words, a love that sees the best version of you, a love that doesn’t just tolerate, but truly celebrates you – even at your weakest, a love that sees you at your best even when you feel just the opposite – my mother’s love…

Dear Mom,

Teach me to love like you do. Teach me to see myself the way you do, the way God does. Show me how to adequately thank you for clutching to your unwavering belief in my dreams when I've just about given up. 
Show me how to remain steadfast, knowing that when conditions are harsh & my world is shaking - I remain rooted.
Teach me how to hold on to my own dreams as tightly as you do, so tight that I can already celebrate as you do for me.

Thank you for years on your knees
Thank you for your complete love & acceptance of who I am even when you didn't agree
Thank you for your calm, kind & patient spirit that embraced me when I didn't deserve it
Thank you for all the things I can't put in words

Teach me to be a mother like you ❤

People get love confused with an emotion – I don’t think it’s a feeling at all, it’s a choice. I think if we started looking at it this way maybe we’d learn how to really cherish & love each other better. Maybe it wouldn’t be as easy to write someone off if you’ve decided to love them for everything they are & everything they’re not. Wouldn’t seeing someone with the same grace you’d want to receive change everything?

I know, or rather, I understand that a mother’s love is something very different than the love we have for people in our lives, & I’m hopeful that one day I’ll experience it – in whichever way it’s intended for me, but for now, for those of us who don’t know just how it feels yet, can we forget about our imaginary clock on the wall? Can we practice a never-seen-before kind of acceptance, forgiveness & grace to prepare our hearts for all the good & perfect gifts coming our way?

So, to my fellow future wives & future mothers on the edge of another Mother’s Day – this month, let’s commit to more love, more compassion, more understanding & more spa days with our BFFs. Let’s quiet down & take the time to embrace where we are now.

All my love,

Laurien

BFFs | clock on the wall | dear mom | mom to be | Sarah Jessica Parker | Sex & the city | spa day

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“Seven”

The anticipation of this month’s blog laid in the corners of my mind, behind the personal turmoil pulling at me, around the business needs, over the tasks of each day; tugging. Wondering how I’d get the thoughts to behave, how I’d attempt to talk them into making sense, I sat in front of the cursor flashing “Add Title”

And there they went, moving from heart, through mind; the circus that is my thoughts found guidance, & as if I’d given them marching orders, in single file they humbly found their way down my fingers, arranging their as-if coordinated place on this screen…

“7”

I’ve always had this close attachment to you, 7. This feeling of comfort, wholeness, completion; will you share this with that which was borne of me? 

On the 1st of April 7 years ago I walked into the familiar little shop I’d spent many days in before, but this time was different, it would be the start of a journey no story book or telenovela could’ve created. It was mine, my responsibility, my baby- I would have to take care of this. I often think back on times of trial, how many times I wished I’d never done such a crazy thing, how much stress & tears it’s caused, but like anything worth having; you have to be willing to fight HARD!

I always used to look at my employers & wonder if they knew that I was meant to be the boss🤣 Isn’t it strange how an entrepreneurial spirit can refuse for you to settle? Thank God for His covering & guidance, even in the times I was ready to quit, He kept me. Now… what’s next?

“The 7 year itch” has been a term used in marriage & in business – something about this milestone has the tendency of making people want to call it quits. I’ve however decided to look at it as a milestone signifying the end of the trial years & the beginning of abundance in all shapes & forms. Comfort, Wholeness, Completion (From my mouth to God’s ears)

“The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future.”

― Jeffrey R. Holland

So as though metaphorically submerging into a bed of water to emerge new at the doorway of this new season- what do I leave behind & what do I cling onto? Here’s what I’ve learned:

Boundaries. 

People will take what they can from you; this has been & continues to be a difficult lesson to learn (especially for someone who loves giving). Some friends will be more supportive of Rihanna’s annoying belly parading all over Instagram than they will your small business, & that’s quite alright. There will be the friends you meet by chance who will give you more support than others ever did. Set boundaries with the “family discount” friends & continuously show your cheerleaders how much you value them ♥

Goals

Goals give you something to aim for but can just as easily give you anxiety & feelings of mediocrity when trying to be great. I’ve learned to make my goals & timelines achievable & to do my best to give myself a pat on the back when I see the visions I had become reality. My goals aren’t dependant on who’s running next to me, they’re dependant on what my spirit man tells me my capacity is.

My Team

I have been greatly blessed with the people in my life who pick me up when I’m ready to stay defeated. My therapists who run the show, deal with my sometimes completely crazy moods, & tell me it’s totally ok to go home @3 & pour a glass of wine when I’ve had just about enough. I’m grateful for the irreplaceable pillar that is my mom, who’s reminded me many times that I’m “not an island” & it’s ok to reach out for help- I love you so much 💖 I’m grateful for the friends who became family, who promote my business & cheer me on, my life is better with you all in it.

The woman I was walking into that shop 7 years ago is most certainly not the woman I see in the mirror today. Will you be with me for the next 7 years of this incredible, insane, life threating & rather gratifying journey? I hope so.

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The anticipation of this month’s blog laid in the corners of my mind, behind the personal turmoil pulling at me, around the business needs, over the tasks of each day; tugging. Wondering how I’d get the thoughts to behave, how I’d attempt to talk them into making sense, I sat in front of the cursor […]

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Consistency is key

In a world of inconsistencies – what is it that keeps us sane? (of sound mind; not mad or mentally ill)

The past month was yet another reminder of the importance of mental health, we live fast, bombarded by information, always connected to social media; making even the strongest people question our lives, looks, achievements, timelines… everything!

What we allow in our minds, the thoughts we entertain & patterns of processing we’ve adapted, can conspire to turn us against ourselves; where do we start to do better? My OG (I love you Precious♥) & I were talking the other day about how overwhelming the pressures of life can get, & we decided to make sure we change the way we speak to ourselves. Instead of negative self-talk, we committed to rather congratulate ourselves for even the smallest wins – & stay consistent about it! At the beginning of the year I wrote about easing the pressure on myself & I must say I’m winning! It’s the 8th of the month & I’m not persecuting myself for the delay, instead I’m thankful I finally found some inspiration this morning 😉 I may be late but I’m consistent. {Laurien, you rockstar, you legend, look at you winning 🤘}


I don’t think there’s many of us that are strangers to how life can sometimes get the better of us, however, staying ahead of the slump could be how we beat it. What are the things you do to keep you sane? I have some outlets but more importantly I was reminded that remaining consistent in whatever it is we do is the only way to tackle life. Consistent & authentic- ’cause being consistently not you won’t help either!

I think trying to fit the mold of who you’re expected to be, how people see your life, & making decisions based on what looks right is a winning recipe for failure. Why do we think pleasing other people will make us happy? Has that ever actually worked? Choosing your squad could be the most important decision we ever make, who we spend our time & energy on & who we let inside has the ability to make or completely break us… choose wisely.

Over the weekend I caught myself laughing, very loudly & if I’m honest, a tad unladylike – but it’s me & I am falling in love with my laugh from today forward 🤣 We think living authentically means still changing the parts of ourselves that may not be pleasing to others, we should unlearn that! Life is a lot sometimes & accepting & loving yourself (flaws & all) may not only make our day to day lives more beautiful but it will most certainly allow you to see who your squad really is.

“If you are persistent you will get it. If you are consistent you will keep it.”

— Anonymous

Relationships are everything❤🌻🥂 water them, feed them, celebrate & protect them; especially the one you have with you… consistently & authentically.


Anti-Inflammatory authentic beauty Beauty Expert beauty services Best Facial BFFs blog business business is hard clock on the wall congratulations dear mom Facial Facials French skincare Fundamental Beautifying Cream Gel manicure Gel polish Healing Hydrating Luxury Luxury skincare Matis Matis Fourways milestone mine mom to be Nails newsletter Online Shopping online store Paris Regenerating relationships Sarah Jessica Parker seven Sex & the city Shopping Skin skincare Skincare Brand spa spa day springtime Waxing