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My piece of this existence

Does anyone else scrutinize everything, holding a microscope up to the things that are “just that way“? I feel confused more often than not. People, situations, reactions, economics & statistics; all very confusing. Or perhaps not everyone is tormented by thoughts – well, how does that feel?!

When I was much younger I always felt so out of place, was it the fact that I moved around so much, or have I always been a rather sensitive soul? I’m leaning towards the latter. There were a whole lot of ingredients that created a very angry little person… add 1 cup of unrefined frustration, 2 litres of Whisky Tango Foxtrot, and 5kgs of “what do I do with this feeling” and out of the oven came an overcooked, spicy, unbalanced meal, heavy on the emotional calories.

I believe I’ve become a different person over and over, finally having the ability to soften, become (sometimes too) flexible, learn the fine art of forgiveness, and able to recognise the beauty I’ve worked at cultivating in myself. Unfortunately there are some lessons that are significantly harder than others, some things weighing so much they bend your will and break your spirit, but being soaked in superglue makes putting them down feel like a constant battle. Reflecting on it all, I’m faced with the reality that the harsh, abrasive me that once was, was just a scared young girl that didn’t know how else to feel protected.

I often wonder about people who lack empathy and wonder if I would be more successful in business if I were one of them. Would I make better business decisions? Would I be able to let go of hurtful emotions instead of packing them in this big suitcase to carry around on my head? No wonder my neck is sore 😂. Empathetically challenged people are much like statistics to me, – they obviously have a reason for existing but make no sense to me no matter how much I try to understand. I must admit, having little to no emotions fogging up the place could be kinda nice…

I sat on a pedicure recliner, listening to James Ingram on Saturday morning with the 1st draft of this blog. I’m sure my music selection prompted the trip down the railway of my life… & I found myself concerned about the weight of these words & how I’d manage to get this to relate to the June promos😵‍💫 Today I’m like, here’s the blog, hope you like it!

On days when deep in thought, finding more questions than answers, trying to make it all make sense; I can’t help but be freshly grateful for my job, my phenomenal staff, and the people who love me. Sunday’s message was titled “Comes With It” – Are we prepared to navigate the trial/persecution/hardship that comes with the blessing? We are often so focussed on the challenges and pain that come before and with the blessing that it becomes so hard to understand that it’s necessary; just like the pain with the birth.

June has begun & brought with it a need for fluffy socks, extra blankets and the soup pots. Before you dive in may I ask, what do you want to carry with you this month?

I’m taking a bigger helping of compassion for myself, acceptance of all the pieces of me – giving no apologies for the deep oceans that create the unique layers of who I am.

Above all, I’m going to try my best to carry in me a well of faith, that even when I can’t see clearly, I’ll know if I put my pale down this well, I’ll be sure to retrieve an overflow.

Let’s try to welcome the challenges as the process that one must follow to get to the great. Here’s to a wonderful, beautiful June for us all.

 

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Holding onto Hope.

Yep, it looks like I’m delaying another skincare lesson to put my thoughts (that have little to nothing to do with my business might I add) on this blog for anyone, someone or perhaps not a soul to read.

I’ve found over the last few years that my thoughts become so much clearer as they fall in line on a screen, there’s something so calming about it, about being “naked” with my thoughts. I have realised writing this blog has become my favourite part of my job.

Here’s a question- or 3. Is anyone else finding no joy in wishing people “Happy New Year”? Are we going to do this for the rest of our lives? Surely we can reserve this wonderful wish for the actual day & resume normal broadcasting? We all want happiness, things to finally work in our favour, our prayers to be answered; it’s just that small, slightly doubtful voice that whispers- “hold back”…  With every truth I know about this life, that doubtful voice doesn’t wander too far.

So in the face of the fact that people change, things don’t always work out, sometimes you will be misunderstood, & pain comes with the process, where is the hope? I’m reading a book on how our lives are fundamentally affected by our upbringing, & how what happened clearly defines how we view everything.

So, when you’re over 40, have had many things that you could’ve/ hoped would turned out differently, & yet, the amount of personal, introspective & HARD work done, sets you further away from shallow lifestyles, harsh words, & people who can’t face what life has really done to them. I can’t help but wonder, what beauty is around the corner for you?

Diving deep isn’t easy, loosing people you love isn’t easy, shouldn’t the question we ask here be, “What is on the other side of this? What’s required to birth of the best version of you?” Nothing worth having comes easy; to wallow & sit in self pity would be expected, but maybe, just maybe, the opposite of what most of us believe is in fact true. Perhaps someone who has taken a mirror to their ugly, & decided to lovingly heal the parts nobody sat down long enough to understand is how you become more loveable. Perhaps when the wounds, traumas & fear aren’t brushed aside, & instead asked to sit a while & talk, is how you become more understanding, patient & empathetic. Perhaps the people who didn’t see YOU, who chose different, who left you hurt were never part of the plan because all that love, understanding, patience & empathy would have been too big for them to even comprehend. Perhaps?

New Years aren’t always happy & celebratory, they are however a bigger, more significant time we get to consciously put things down, let things go & start again. Whatever starting again includes for you, I pray you hold onto hope.

As we start another year, let’s have faith. When the hard days come, & they will, let’s try to remind ourselves that our best days are ahead of us, that we haven’t even met some of the people who will have the biggest impact on our lives & love us the most! Let’s remember that love casts out all fear. Even when we can’t see it, when we don’t know what’s ahead, when our best planning still doesn’t bring clarity, let’s hold onto hope.

 

 

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What’s your main concern?

Well well well… here we are again; the last month of the year, my last blog of the year.

With the significance of the month at the forefront, I have decided to slightly put my skincare teaching hat down & just spew some thoughts onto this screen.

Now that we’re all in the obvious (for most of us), “can’t wait for the end of the year” mode, dare I ask if you’ve had time to reflect on your 2023? I had a conversation with a friend last night & as I heard the words effortlessly streaming from my mind into the atmosphere, I realised how much this year taught me. Admittedly, we all know lessons & learnings aren’t generally easy, they are not without hurt & pain, & sometimes they leave scars, however, when we finally really learn, there is a peace, a comfort, an almost shedding old skin  epiphany & isn’t that beautiful?

“What is your main concern” is a line skincare therapists use all the time, it’s significant because treating your skin is in our hands, but identifying what bothers you is the starting point. I can’t help but sit here & wonder, do we ask ourselves this question enough in our day to day lives?

This friend asked me if I was a little worried about my age in relation to settling down & getting married, he also asked if I would consider being married in less than a year. When faced with questions like these, would you ask yourself “What is my main concern”? I think I’ll leave that to marinate.

This year I finally learned to understand that the only opinion that matters is God’s. I have been Christian for many years but this year I learned that I have had a really bad habit of taking issues, cares, concerns out of God’s hands & attempting to fumble my way through them-all the while wondering why things have to be so heavy, so hard, & why some things are so confusing. I vow stop trying to steer my ship & accept more rest. This life can be so tumultuous, how can we be in charge all the time? I don’t know about you but I’m exhausted!

There will always be things to complain about, there’s always somewhere we feel we’re falling short & always some unnecessary thing to deter us. I’m guilty of trying too hard in my own strength to fix everything, overthinking, & wearing myself out, but instead of doing what I’ve always done, it’s time to shift gears. Those of you who know me, know that I’m not one for new year’s resolutions, I like to think of something about myself I could work on, this will be my most challenging one at my big age 😂 I hope when you see me next you’ll remind me & remind yourself to put it down & stop wrestling.

From my amazing staff & I, we wish you a wonderful festive season, a very merry Christmas, a safe new year & most of all, a peace & joy that stays with you always ❤️

As always, it has been our pleasure to spoil you, listen to you, laugh with you & teach you about your skin this year.

We are closing on Saturday the 23rd of December & will be ready to welcome you back on the 3rd of January.

All my love, Laurien

 

P.S Thank you to Pst James for the eye opening message “God has called us to rest & not to wrestle” You & my City Life Church Lonehill family are so dear to my heart.