{"id":10037,"date":"2022-06-02T14:12:35","date_gmt":"2022-06-02T12:12:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.matisfourways.co.za\/shop\/?p=10037"},"modified":"2022-06-02T14:12:37","modified_gmt":"2022-06-02T12:12:37","slug":"winter-self-reflection","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.matisfourways.co.za\/shop\/blog\/winter-self-reflection\/","title":{"rendered":"Winter Self Reflection"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

So friends… here we are at the last month of the 1st half of 2022- how is everyone feeling? How many of you are where your year planner says you should be? I had great intentions to be just where I planned to be but life happened while I was busy planning. Until yesterday I once again had no idea what to write, not feeling too motivated for something uplifting so with my upside down, misguided & rather illogical pile of emotions, I went to lay it on someone who could help me make some sense of it all – what a gem she is!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finding yourself in the very last place you wanted to be makes other things pale in comparison; doesn’t it? That illusive checklist that follows us around sitting in the blind spot of our minds, waving to see if we still see it there; or the one we do in the beginning of the year, cleverly disguised as “resolutions” really does come back to taunt us & give us unwanted feelings of failure, even when your resolution was to just be kind to yourself… screw that list & it’s judgy eye \ud83d\udc41<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n
 I am absolutely & quite confidently no stranger to phycology & counselling, the unjustified & just plain foolish idea that we don't need these gifts from God make me roll my big brown eyes at all the people busy bleeding on people who didn't hurt them because they feel so strong & capable of dealing with their past... uh huh let's see how that goes...<\/span><\/strong><\/pre>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
A few years ago I needed guidance with some changes I needed to make in my business & saw a life coach, in hind sight, I took much more from the time spent with her than I initially thought. I have made some of those changes I planned for & it came together quite close to how I viewed it in my minds eye! *Insert pat on the back here*<\/em>  She also asked me to ask trusted people in my life how they view me in an attempt to raise the views I had of myself & reading those words today made me feel just as shocked & emotional as they did then-interesting\u2026 I may just mess around & put these awesome words on my weekly planner in my office \ud83d\ude0e<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Do many people struggle to see themselves the way others do? & if so, are these fellow people fumbling with some other critical areas too? If you’re not too shy, will you tell me where you struggle in the comments? I have to approve all comments so if you want only me to see it & keep it safe- I’ll do that!<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I had a difficult conversation with my therapist yesterday & those are always good but never easy! Over the years I dug so heavily into my past & looked for the pieces that I thought made who I am; imagine the moment I realised I\u2019m far from done & may have been looking in the wrong places! Yikes<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was fortunate enough to go on a little holiday a few weeks ago, yes an all expenses paid trip to a beautiful beach resort in Mozambique- it was good for my spirit; I walked on the beach, talked to God, took in all the beauty of things around me right up until I was left alone, extradited to my room instead of my home I so desperately wanted to return to & ended up feeling trapped, claustrophobic, stressed & anything but an extra 2 days on holiday; not the ideal way to spend your first holiday in about 6 years – I realised how difficult a sudden change of plan in a different country was for me to navigate alone, & that’s just how I felt… alone!  & the caring I was looking for from someone else had to come from me<\/p>\n\n\n\n