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What soothes you?

Hi, I’m Laurien and I’m a procrastinator. 🤦🏽‍♀️I have a growing talent for leaving things to the very last minute, and the May blog has been a prime example.

Putting my head in the sand when I don’t feel like facing a task is fast becoming a hobby, when I should in fact, be getting more task orientated!

May really isn’t a favourite month to write my thoughts to be honest. May = Mothers’ day, &  is a tricky one for me – the past few years have been interesting to navigate. A word for the younger generation, don’t be so keen to declare that you don’t want kids; one day you wake up 35 & fall in love with some lil people & discover you had all the maternal bones all along 🫢

April is our birthday month (the shop & I ) & just as I’m getting settled into the new age, May peeps her motherly head around the corner to remind me of my womb that no-one has called home yet. – RUDE-

I was relaxing, walking, eating, dancing & drinking on a wine farm in Cpt for a few days, & I didn’t feel the urge to rush back from the beach to write this blog – It’s the honesty for me!

The past few days I’ve sat with some thoughts; are we experiencing more of the same in different ways? I took another bash at a dating site recently, I’ve always known my S.O wouldn’t be found there, but I was admittedly without entertainment… until I saw my (not single) cousin’s profile & proceeded to delete it, yet again! As I stared at the familiar pictures, I couldn’t help but wonder… am I existing in a time not meant for me?
Fam! Carrie Bradshaw lifts my spirits- even in the 90s, things were much the same with the exception of fake profiles & way too much social media, what is it about relatability that settles the spirit?

 

When all the frozen yoghurt & SATC reruns fail to hit the spot, my next best is my Good mood in jars, conveniently found in my bathroom cabinet.

The slight sagging of cheeks (& heart) are made well with the floating fingers over my face, the aroma that behaves like I’d imagine the balm of Gilead did. The meticulously crafted texture has a way of softening my mind. Bliss!

Look, it won’t change things around me, but it somehow changes me, slightly shifting my view, my mood; it sings me a lullaby with the promise of of a better tomorrow.

 

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I am a mother.

I looked back on the blog I wrote in May last year, I titled it “Ever Changing Times” – if you haven’t read it, I urge you to; sometimes I surprise myself, that one was beautiful! I looked back to remind myself of where I was last year this time & even though it was a great read, it opened my eyes to some more truths.

My father in heaven loves me more today than I will ever be loved & he gave us clear instructions on marriage, love, respect & motherhood. His plan for my life is one to prosper me- this is what I know. Yet, even in that certainty, there are so many of us wounded by past hurts & disappointments, there are so many of us who are so guarded that it becomes nearly impossible to see a soft love & to realize that God still has a plan & that marriage (when done right) is still one of His most precious gifts to us. From the beginning of time He created us to love & be loved, he created us to “fill the earth”.

It’s sometimes painful holding onto a promise in a book that’s 2000+ years old. It’s sometimes difficult to still keep holding onto it through those hurts, heartaches & betrayal; but what would hurt more is letting it go- so I won’t, I can’t!

I’m so thankful that I’ve grown into the woman I am today, I guess I’m not hard on the eyes for my 40yr old self 😎 but what I know without a doubt, is that I have a beauty inside me that is only as beautiful as it is today because of the lessons I’ve learned. I’ve learned that it’s better to remain soft & pliable, it’s better to hold onto the beauty ahead, than to let the world rob you of your birthright. It’s better to love like you’ve never been hurt, than to feel as though you need to protect yourself. Sometimes what we feel is protection, is potentially stealing “your gift”.

I spent the day with my sister-friend yesterday, & I was reminded of how important your circle is. Make sure you have people around you who can lift you up, love you unconditionally & most importantly remind you of how God sees you & tell you how precious you are. I’m a words person, reassurance & loving words make me crumble.

Without having the pleasure of having a gift growing inside me (yet), I believe I am a mother. I have learned to see my heart as one of a kind, & I’m so proud to say it! I’m not ashamed to say I cry when I worship, when I’m sad or happy, when my friends all said beautiful speeches at my birthday dinner❤️, & even now as I’m typing… because it’s the same heart that gives me the capacity to love somebody else’s kids the way I’ll love mine; the same heart that will love, respect & submit to my husband, the same heart that is grateful that the parts of me that once broke – I have chosen to use to make me more beautiful.

In May last year I started serving in the kids ministry at church. Firstly, I cannot believe it’s been a year & secondly, it has given me such pleasure to have these precious children run into my arms on a Sunday morning. The responsibility to show them how to love & teach them about God has been such a highlight in my life.

I am a mother.

My mother is a soft, don’t ask questions, non confrontational kind of person & I’m sure – as I’m sure she will tell you, I was not the easiest child – BY FAR 🤦🏽‍♀️We struggled, I struggled, & it took a long time to settle into us now. She is one of a kind & I have been so blessed to have a mother who quietly & consistently loves, supports & undoubtedly believes in me even when I’m ready to throw in the towel. I don’t know where I’d be without her!

When I was younger & even now, I look at friends’ mothers & have sometimes wished my mother carried certain attributes. I know quite possibly my child will one day wish I had something else to give him/her… but what this has made me see is “It takes a village to raise a child” is not just a saying, it’s another reason we need to choose our circle wisely. Just like you can’t replace your girlfriends with your husband, sometimes you need a group of “mothers” to give you what your heart needs. One day my child will have the most fantastic mothers because I know the character of my circle.

I honestly hope my revelation will be exactly what someone else needed to hear. Mother’s Day is something to celebrate, but can be very difficult & triggering for many people with different stories. This month I’ve created a special promo called “I am a mother” for those of us who want a child, have lost a child, are having difficulties conceiving, or that have chosen to be a mother to the kids around them.

Choose your happy!

With love, Laurien

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When Mother’s Day hurts

Each year my marketing in May, like most businesses, focusses on Mother’s Day- it’s important & we should but I thought I’d share some personal views this mother’s day.

When I was younger I totally believed I didn’t want kids & needless to say these days are very different. Failed relationships, almost marriages, realising what we want & don’t want takes alot longer than we generally think, right?

We all know the drill, the expectation of marriage & children by a certain age & the questions & comments that follow when “it’s your time”

We’ve been so programmed to hear the biological clock & some of us even start making the wrong choices to try fit the timeline. This year, can we commit to acceptance of God’s plan? Can we become a little more sensitive to other women who struggle in silence while wearing a smile? Can we celebrate us all?

This month we’re doing a “Mommy & Me” promo but I feel a nagging urge to dive deeper into what Mother’s Day may mean to different women.

One day I’ll know what the kicking in my belly feels like, but for now I’ve been blessed with having 2 of the most beautiful loving kids to shower with all my love & affection, I’m blessed to have them in my life 🙂

I had a conversation with my bestie (aka “my” kids’ dad) & he told me a story about a rabbit & an elephant, long story short, the rabbit’s pregnancy is around 31 days & the elephant is pregant for 22 months! Yep, that’s right, like 2 whole years! The story ends with the elephant saying “You have to understand,what’s inside me isn’t puppy or a bunny, when my baby hits the ground, the earth trembles it, what I’m carrying is mighty & great!”

I loved that story! Sometimes we don’t understand the wait & the why but we have greatness stored up & when your time really does come, it will be mighty & great! Worth waiting for.

I want to shout out to the infertile woman, the woman who’s marriage is in danger from the heaviness of fertility treatments, the single woman waiting for her Boaz, the woman who’s about to give up…

A shout out to the single mom trying to be both parents & doing her best, to the tired mom who isn’t coping, to the depressed mom who can’t ask for help, the mom who questions if she’s good enough…

The children who’ve lost their mothers & mothers who’ve lost their children. What could replace, make sense of, or validate this empty space nobody can fill?

So this Mother’s Day to all the sons, daughters, moms, moms to be, tired moms, struggling moms; we see you & we love you!

You are enough

You are worthy

You are strong

You are capable